The white light

Whenever I look at my photo of Sri Amma Bhagavan, my eyes start to feel funny. They dilate and undilate, the white on the photo starts to shine brilliant white, then purple starts to lick it's way over the darker bits of the photo, then the stuff around the photo in my vision becomes white, the air between me and the photo becomes misty white, Sri Bhagavan and Amma take on a 3 dimensional perspective. My brain feels odd, like waves pulsating slowly through it. This can go on for a good thirty minutes. Usually at some point tears will come to my eyes and I will just feel so sad. So the opposite from when I take Deeksha from the photo. Then I feel light, happy, joyous, like I want to sing and I often end up dancing afterwards or just jumping up and down with a big smile all over my face.

Because there is no spiritual path for me to follow, It's not like having a guru who can explain things, or tell you what you should be doing next, I have no idea if it is helpful on my path or not. It's just what happens when I look at the photo of Sri Amma Bhagavan.

Honeysuckle

This evening, trying to release the Rosemary bush from the closed green house door, I suddenly had an intimate moment with my honeysuckle which lives behind the Rosemary. I felt very closely connected to it. I have loved and admired my honeysuckle for the 10 years of it's life in the garden, but never felt this close to it. I have plucked the flowers and sucked the nectar, but still never felt this close to it. I feel like I am falling in love with everything. Bit by bit, the odd moment here and there, I feel so lucky to be alive in such times.

Odd vision

Vision, as in eye sight.

(The other type will talk about some other time)

It's like there is a little pulsation behind my eyes and a geometric pattern overlays what I am looking at. I was looking down at the grass. The blades of grass became so distinct. The little white bases leading up to the green blades coming out of each one. Each blades path clear and all colours so very vibrant. Then my mind snaps into action and steel trap snap, I am back.

It is happening with increasing frequency.

The little wooden house

One day a picture came into my mind. It was of a rather shabby little wooden, porched house, which looked out onto a large area enclosed by a high wooden fence. The area was of struggling short grass, bare patches, all very unloved but my. what a wonderful place that would be to live, do up. What potential for a lovely place. Safe too with that fence.

I knew it was important, and talked to my partner about it. He was excited, maybe it was where we were going to end up living. I wanted that to be true, but....kinda knew in myself that it symbolised my mind.

The next time it popped up in my head, things were a little different. There were veggies growing down the bottom, a few little plants growing up the porch and it all felt rather nice. 
The next time, I almost fell over. It was beautiful. Flowers grew everywhere, all of them white. It was just wonderful. 
Next time, another shock. The fences had disappeared. It took a little time to get used to that, but I then started to prefer it.
The last time was a couple of days ago......The area in front of the house had disappeared, just some rock in front which I was standing on looking out over a wonderful view of sky and a landscape lower down.

Did I mention that I am one of those folk on a spiritual journey?